Dear Dad,

I'm not mad anymore at you. You probably and hopefully had a reason for leaving your wife and kid that way. Whatever it was, it doesn't matter anymore. I know you are ashamed, I saw it in your eyes. && When you saw me for the first time 4 years ago, I noticed you started crying. It was probably some where between happiness and regret. That little girl that you didn't want grew up, and she was just the splitting image of you. No wonder I've never liked the way i looked.

A few months you saw me again. You're eyes glimmering with tears. Your hair lined with white, and wrinkles strung around your face. You've gotten older. I cracked a joke at the awkward dinner table, but refused to talk to you. I couldn't even look at you in the face. I wasn't angry. Frustrated maybe? You brought out my irrational side. My mom wasn't there with me this time to hold me. She was never mad at you either, and never blamed you. Lucky you. You left her to raise a child by herself. A single mother, a recent immigrant. How could you have the heart to leave her when she needed you.

That whole time seeing your face, i wanted to ask you why you left me. Nothing could ever justify leaving your child and wife for 18 years, but i deserve to know. Your effort at reconciliation is worst. My aunts brought us together, you did little to remedy the issue at hand. I don't want you, or need you back in life. When i was little i didn't have that choice, and you walked out. You've never given me a chance. Why should i give you a chance? You did it once, what if you abandon us again?

You've made me hate the way I look. You've made afraid of rejection and abandonment. But my mom made me too stubborn and willful to ever forgive and take you back. I know that i'm better then this, and i should forgive you, but every time i see your face, i remember the childhood that you weren't in. Where were you when i needed you? Why is it that you only try to come back when I no longer need you?

It was from you, that I've learned that scary people do exist. People that are heartless enough to leave when people are in need.